So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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