i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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