Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
