Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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