I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
