She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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