I could have mohawked her pubes.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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