butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
