Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
