My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
