You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
