hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize