He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
