The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
