Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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