i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
