My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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