This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The air taste purple.
Randomize
