Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
