i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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