Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
