He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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