what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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