you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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