mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize