When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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