the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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