I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
