I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
