thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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