Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
