with your own penis?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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