just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
