You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
