Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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