So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
