My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
