Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
