Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
