Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she smelled like a LAN party
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
