Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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