You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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