At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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