Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
