i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
