Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
be right there i have to get my cape
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
