Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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