just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
