does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize