I like to think it a success when the cops are called
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
