white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
