Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
