he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
