so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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