Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
