i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
