I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
