and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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