I think I died a long time ago.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
