lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
