he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
