That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
